Why People suffer with Low Self Esteem?
Lying on his bed, with a thick blanket completely covering his body and face, the blanket made him feel suffocated, exactly what he wanted. Not because he wanted to end his life, but he wanted to punish himself for the cause he did not know himself.
Such and similar situations are part and parcels of life of a person who has lost his self-esteem, or some people call it as self worth. Self esteem is simply how you judge yourself, but sadly that judgment often relies on the opinions of others.
People with low self esteem are hypersensitive, vulnerable, quiet, and often think of themselves as unlovable. Their self loathing hinders their both personal and professional life, resulting in decreased productivity and then further aggravation of self loathing.
As per most psychologists low self esteem may have multiple causes, but the root is mostly same.
Rejection
While a healthy person with good self esteem can absorb a rejection, a person with low self esteem takes it as matter of high insult. Rejection can be in the form of: “You are not my type!” OR “We are sorry but you are not qualified for the job.” Many of these people portray themselves as calm and compose, and don’t show themselves to be impulsive. This resistance of emotions make the situation worse for their state of mind.
Bad Parenting
It is very unfortunate that some children become culprits of bad parenting. Many couples get separated when their child is young which results in deviation of the upbringing. Often children see domestic violence which results in deterioration of their personality and loss of self worth. Every child deserves a happy childhood, loving parents who feed them spoons of self confidence. But some children have to face the consequences of the bad parenting most of their lives.
Body Shaming
Being 5’3 myself I exactly know what body shaming can do to a person’s self confidence. Taking group picture with my friends have turned into a nightmare for me, just because I will turn to look shortest. But guess what, I still manage to be part of it, showing my friends how happy I am, hiding my anxiety as smartly as I can.
People face body shaming in the form of comments and criticism their entire life. “You need to go on a diet!” “Why are you so short?” “You should do something about your pale skin”. These comments which sound normal, can crush the self esteem of the person facing the problem.
Bad Choices of Past
People often make mistakes and take wrong decisions in their live. There is nothing wrong with it, as some say, how would you learn if you don’t make a mistake. But, people with a fragile and sensitive nature take their mistakes as a matter of shame. Getting into a bad relationship, dropping out school or you once were a drug addict, no matter what it is one should forgive himself. If you are unable to forgive yourself, you will most probably stuck in the cycle of past and present.
World Around You
To me this is one of the most important factor, through which today’s generation go through. World around you includes your family, friends, colleagues, teachers and people who are not actually your friends. It is very important to figure the right type of people in your life. Some of these can be toxic to your life, and right way is to avoid them at least if you cannot eliminate them. Choose right friends for yousrself, and differentiate between a true friend and acquaintance.
How can one improve his self esteem?
First and foremost, stop blaming yourself for the mistakes you didn’t make. You didn’t ask to be dark, you didn’t ask to be short, you didn’t ask to be fat. Owe yourself! You are not abnormal, you are just different. Make right choices about people you want to be with. Set your goals and work hard on them in silence. Believe me, your success will completely shadow your inferiority complex. Lastly, LOVE YOURSELF!